Episode 68
Episode 68 '''is an episode of the Drunken Peasants. Prev: Episode 67 Next: Episode 69 Highlights * Gail Chord Schuler goes full retard * TJ compares the Jesuit Order with the Illuminati * The fans furiously masturbate to TJ. Videos Played # NUCLEAR BOMB ON THE WAY, NEED SCIENTISTS AND MILITARY NOW!! # New $100 Bill Decrypted Illuminati new world order plans MUST SEE MUST GO VIRAL # Is Education A Human RIght? # Wild Bill Liberal # How To Speak In Tongues-9-You Receive! # Sweden Is Like North Korea: 700 Club # Alexandria Hill Dies After Being Placed In Abusive Foster Home (can't find) # Giuliani Reacts to Cop Killings # Springfield Township man ordered to remove 'Zombie Nativity' from front lawn # Video About A Man Who Builds AR's For Santa (can't find) # Veteran San Jose Officer Threatening Tweets Controversy (can't find) # Teacher Resigns After Student Writes About Jesus And Drugs Start of the Show The show starts off with Ben's computer monitor exploding after a shitload of shilling. TJ lets us know that Scotty's dead. (He was never alive). For some reason, TJ and Ben felt the need to whore out some faggot's YouTube channel. Then, Ben whines because he misses Scotty's warm embrace. The first video played is a Gail video about a nuclear bomb. The peasants stopped playing it about 3 seconds in to read this delusional bitch's retarded response to the last episode. Ben and TJ Talk about penises and vaginas. TJ struggle to remember his one night stand with Zack Knight. Ben googles Zack in an attempt to help TJ get his asshole stretched. TJ advocates sexism against women, by pointing out Gail's hypocrisy. After reading Gail's response, TJ proposes a challenge for Gail to post a video of her and Brent Spiner together. TJ then requests that Brent Spiner tell his stories about his penis and that he show it on camera. '''Finally, they get back to the Gail video. Next up is a REALLY BORING video about some twat creating Illuminati origami with the new $100 bill. Save yourself the time and skip it. While introducing the next video, Ben sounds like he's choking on a dick. This is a Stefan Molyneux video explaining why education isn't a human right. This dillhole explains positive and negative rights and spews garbage for the next 20 minutes. This video is over 20 minutes long, so if you don't want an aneurysm, you may want to skip it, too. TJ reads the chat and Ben talks about sodomizing someone with his big unclipped toenail. Afterwards, the fourth video is played. This video is a Wild Bill video and it is garbage. TJ then sobs uncontrollably because Ben left before busting a nut. Middle of the Show In the fifth video, a man shows us how to speak in tongues. TJ reaches the maximum level of annoying when he snores into the mic. FUCK YOU, TJ! YOU'RE GARBAGE! Before the next video, Ben begs for likes. Video #6 is a 700 Club Pat Robertson clip in which Pat compares Sweden to North Korea. A Swedish conservative bitch complains about North Korea's residents ruining her country. Afterwards, we listen to Pat's (Gordon Ramsay in disguise) decrepit, disgusting, raspy old man voice. After that, the peasants took a look at a "Who's the Sexiest?" poll. TJ goes on a rampage because Ben is competition for him. TJ commands viewers to like the video, and Ben begs for likes. Then they take a break. End of the Show After the break After the break, the peasants came back and looked at the poll results. TJ won by the majority. TJ then serenades himself with an unholy demon of a song about himself. At this point, they delve into an article about spoiled American teenagers tweeting on Christmas to complain about their first world problems. While reading the article, Ben and TJ decide to have children together- a son and a daughter, which they plan to name Mortimer and Gratilda (?). After that, they once again go to check the poll results. TJ is still winning at this point. They covered a news story about a 2 year old who was beaten to death by her foster mother AFTER being put in CPS because her parents got arrested for pan. Thanks, Obama. The eighth video played is Rudy Giuliani and Fox and Friends sitting around and spewing shit about Obama and cop killings. Next up is TJ being really loud and obnoxious in the mic, and a video about a man with a zombie nativity scene, which was ordered to be removed. After that, there's a video about a billboard of Santa holding a gun. The next video is about a veteran San Jose officer that caused controversy on Twitter after tweeting some stupid shit about anti-police protests. The last video is about a teacher who is forced to resign after his student wrote about drugs and Jesus. The Peasants realized that they have already covered that video and move on to Q&A, only to go back and cover the video because a bunch of cunts were whining about the video not being covered. THEN they move on to Q&A. Final Segment The show ends with a ton of Q&A videos. EggHead's question was among the questions answered. Lastly, The Peasants go back to the poll and the results are unanimous... TJ is the sexiest Drunken Peasant of all. Songs Played During the Break # The Hobo Rap - Sex Twister # Peaches and Cream - Sex Twister # Mother Fucker - Sex Twister # Man Rape - Sex Twister # She Fucked - Sex Twister # Virgin Killer - Sex Twister Quotes * "Those fucking Jesuits!" ''- TJ's hatespeech * ''"Is he Asian?" - TJ being racist * "Zack Knight rules the internet!" ''- TJ being a fascist * ''"Just because she believes that computer viruses can make people's dicks fall off doesn't mean she's crazy!" ''- TJ revealing his worst nightmare * ''"Two pump chump." ''- Ben describes his sex life * ''"...Jesuit bukkake in a nuclear bomb..." ''- Gail * ''"Ben's toe all up in you." ''- TJ reading fanfiction * ''"They wanna fry your bladder up and eat it." - TJ exposes Wild Bill's Friday nights * "You gotta bad case of liberalism, take two of these and call me in the morning!" - Ben shouts at his wife while beating her * "Cloud, disappear!" ''- Ben and TJ speaking in tongues simultaneously * ''"Who's gonna take the turkey baster?" ''- Ben trying to conceive children with TJ * ''"Pour hot sauce down your urethra. Put a little funnel in there." ''- TJ creating the script for Ben's sex tape * ''"...All fat neckbeard dudes. Worst porno ever... Slash best." ''- TJ in an orgy * “''And Jesus said onto thee, ‘This drug will cure psychosis, but also Gail’s yeast infection. So sayeth Jesus.” —TJ reads from Romans 8:28 Trivia * Most Jesuits claim to be atheists. * Gail Chord Schuler has a massive yeast infection. * Jesus invented Seroquel just for Gail. (Romans 8:28) * Gail claims that she is the Galileo of our time. * Gail is an egotistic cunt Disclaimer Offended? ->Disclaimer Page Category:Drunken Peasants Episodes